Racism and its Impact on our Children – Bereavement Counselling Vancouver

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin is quoted as having said “ We are spiritual beings having a human experience, not human beings having a spiritual experience”.

This human experience is affected by the core values we are raised with, the family we are born into, the community we live in, and the resources made available to us.

Racism is a Socially-Transmitted Disease

Racism is a social construct, a disease that has not stopped spreading since its inception. The belief that a person’s race is the determinant of their capacity, behaviour and intelligence is one that continues to plague the world.

When does a Child First Experience Racism?

A child could experience the negative hormonal effects of racism in utero, as their mother endures chronic stress secondary to marginalization and persistent rejection. The child’s experience is not only affected by the maternal experience but is further modified by the negative generational epigenetic effects of this social disease. This impact continues to be felt throughout the child’s life, in turn, affecting stress hormone levels, and making them more susceptible to chronic inflammation, and therefore chronic disease. On an emotional level, they will feel fear, sadness, and anger. Mentally, they experience confusion and inadequacy- when others don’t accept or believe in you, you are less likely to believe in yourself. Spiritually, they may question the purpose of this social injustice.

These children can go on to suffer insoluble grief as part of their daily lives and could benefit from professional help, either in the form of bereavement counselling or other forms of therapy aiding in processing and working through their grief.

How Children Brought Up in Racist Households Are Affected

On the other end of the spectrum, children also suffer from being raised in a discriminatory household. Racial discrimination is taught and passed down from generations, making it a disease so deeply ingrained into the psyche of the child that it becomes natural. This raises a child whose core beliefs are skewed and harmful to their own wellbeing, as well as harmful in the behaviour they project onto others.

These children grow up projecting their biased core beliefs onto others. This ends up hurting the quality of their experiences as well as their chances of a happy, healthy and compassionate life.

Raising Kind, Antiracist Children

To raise kind and accepting children, we must first assess our core values (whether our own or passed on to us from other generations), educate ourselves, and then do everything in our power to bring forth age-appropriate information to our kids. Only then can we be in a position to empower our children in embracing antiracist thinking, challenging stereotypes and being active in standing up for racial injustice.

As parents, we can talk to our children about different races and how each contributes positively to our communities and societies at large, teach them about the unfairness associated with racism, show them how they can stand up for their friend/teach them to be an ally, teach them how to ask for help if they or another is subjected to racism, and overall, encourage conversation. When kids are most curious, it’s important to answer their bold questions with calm and compassion and help them develop strong core beliefs that value equality. It all begins with how we raise our kids; until then, healing will be a distant possibility.

Although yes, we are all unique individuals, we are also equal. In the end, racism is a social construct because genetically, we are all the same. The genetic similarities from person to person are 99.9% identical. So, why can’t we accept our physical differences and live in kindness? This is a question that we will keep asking ourselves for as long as racism lives on our planet. 

Why Bereavement Counselling Vancouver ?

If you know someone suffering the loss of their freedoms or the loss of a loved one, it’s important to guide them in getting professional help. Bereavement counselling Vancouver can offer them the support they need in processing their emotions and finding the courage necessary to move forward.