Healthily Transitioning into Retirement – Life Transition Counselling

For seniors or even young successful professionals, the years leading up to retirement may be spent securing financial independence. For most people, being financially secure and physically well-off are goals that they spend the majority of their life trying to achieve. While at a certain point in our lives this is, indeed, the focus of our time and energy, the next phase of our lives can prove to be very different.

Transitioning into retirement requires you to consider a myriad of different factors: financial, emotional and physical. For most people, going from a full-time career into retirement can be an overwhelming time filled with challenges, shock and adaptation.

While retirement offers a reward at the end of a very long and oftentimes stressful working journey, the extra leisure time can actually be difficult. We can lose our sense of identity, a large portion of our income and financial stability, and most importantly, our sense of purpose.

The Grief & Loss Surrounding Retirement

A lot of us spend a lifetime building up our careers, making the sudden halt that retirement brings too much to handle. Unknowingly, people moving into retirement will oftentimes experience grief as they struggle to reconnect with their innermost selves.

Because grief isn’t limited to the loss of a loved one, it can also result from divorce, job loss, retirement and possible loss of identity.

It shows up in stages:

• Denial: “I wasn’t ready to retire in the first place, I should go back to work.”
• Anger: “I wasn’t needed anymore so they found a way to make me retire.”
• Bargaining: “If I cut down my hours or find another job, I can continue working.”
• Depression: “I’m useless.”
• Acceptance: “Maybe this isn’t so bad, there are so many things I could fill my time with.”

In addition, many people will experience their friends or family undervaluing their experience. This disenfranchised loss can make the retiree feel unappreciated, unseen and hurt. This is mainly because retirement, or even other forms of loss such as losing a pet or a job, aren’t recognized in the same way as death. This makes it incredibly difficult for people retiring to have an open, honest dialogue with their loved ones. In this case, speaking to a counsellor specializing in grief and loss counselling or life transition counselling such as myself can be especially helpful. It’s important for people to be guided through the process of grieving the loss of their working selves.

A Loss of Identity

As unhealthy as it is, many people identify themselves with their jobs. When a lifetime is spent moving towards a goal and achieving it, having it taken away can be painful. This can prove especially challenging when retiring in a first-world country, where being is doing and accomplishment is defined by the state of one’s career.

This can be damaging to a person’s self-worth as their leisure time increases and they begin to experience a whirlwind of emotions. These emotions can include disbelief, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, numbness as well as experiencing insomnia and an overactive mind, among others. These mental health issues and large amounts of stress can unfortunately manifest themselves as physical symptoms and illnesses.

A loss of identity is also accompanied by decreased socialization. With the countless hours spent at work, much of a person’s social circle is comprised of his or her coworkers. Retirement can bring about immense isolation, leaving seniors grieving their once active, joyous selves.

Retirement in a Relationship

When couples experience one partner retiring while the other continues to work, it can cause the retiree’s self-esteem to crash. This life transition may also bring about financial hardships that the couple, as a unit, did not have to face before.

While it’s completely normal to feel unproductive, useless and empty, it’s all about redefining the concept of productivity. What meaning do you attach to productivity? What does it mean to you?

Looking at Life Through a New Lens

Transitioning into retirement brings along with it an opportunity for a whole new life. There are so many things that you can do to give back to your community and share the expertise you’ve spent your life perfecting. Guiding others through their own journey can be an incredibly fulfilling and happy way to renew your sense of purpose.

In this new chapter of your life, view the glass as half full. You can:

• Travel
• Read books
• Become a mentor
• Volunteer in something you’re passionate about
• Take up a new hobby
• Learn an instrument
• Learn a new language
• Hire a financial advisor
• Get help from a life transition counsellor

While yes, staying busy can be helpful, it will not help the grieving process move along any faster. It’s important to be kind and patient with yourself. Allow yourself time to reflect on what this new experience means to you and how you can settle into a space of newfound purpose.

As difficult as this transition could be, with the help and support of family members, a coach and grief counsellor, not only can you reach glad-hearted acceptance, but be inspired to find joy and space for personal growth after your retirement. Life transition counselling and coaching can guide and coach you into reconnecting with yourself as you experience these life-altering changes. I would be more than happy to connect with you, and support you along your unique journey.