Mourning the Loss of Youth: How We Grieve Aging – Life Transition Counselling

Ageing is a natural part of life. To be human means to age day by day from the moment we enter the world to the moment we leave it. While it can be difficult for both men and women to come to terms with the many realities of ageing, women seem to have a much harder time.

The physical, mental, and emotional consequences of ageing make us hyper-aware of our mortality. It is that very singular reality, that we are slowly moving towards our ultimate death, that is not openly mourned in western societies, taking away a precious opportunity for many to consciously and fully process the gradual and inevitable changes this transition brings. Given society’s obsession with youth and widespread need to “turn back the clock on ageing” with a myriad of surgical and non-surgical anti-ageing treatments, it’s easy for our ageing population to feel marginalized, isolated, and even confused about the ageing process.

How are we supposed to acknowledge these natural processes and age gracefully in today’s world? How do we embrace the grey hair, the hair loss, the wrinkles and the body changes? For the aspects we can’t overcome alone, life transition counselling with a professional is there to guide us through the process.

Grieving The Losses of Ageing

Ageing inevitably brings about feelings of grief that must be mourned. No matter how hard we try, we can’t avoid or deny the reality that we will get older, and that with this transition comes losses. As a society of “fixers”, we can implement any one of a number of interventions to try and slow the physical changes of ageing, but one cannot “fix” ageing.

In reality, there are certain losses experienced by all of us as we age, and these can include loss of identity, loss of finance, a loss of home and loss of safety. It’s important to realize that first, we must actively and consciously acknowledge these losses of ageing. Trying to “go around” this process instead of “going through” the process devalues the importance of ageing, and doesn’t allow for an opportunity for our ageing population to gain strength and wisdom as they learn to move through these changes and life transition.

How Ageing Effects Women

In society, women are lead to believe that they were not given the gift of ageing as gracefully as men. While men age like a fine wine, we are taught that women degrade with time. This is a school of thought that has caused great amounts of heartache and low self-worth in women, whether struggling with entering their 30’s or retirement.

There comes a certain confidence that ageing brings about. It invites the opportunity to learn more about who you are, be yourself, and experience things you’ve always wanted to experience.

It introduces you to the reality that you are more than your career, more than your accomplishments, and more than your beauty. Your value, strength and attractiveness as a woman do not diminish with time, they merely transform and settle into the place they were always meant to be.

Ageing can liberate you from the confused, scared or worried little girl you once were and free you into being a confident woman with her head held high.

Positive Ageing & Retirement

How we define and accept the challenges that get thrown our way in the face of time, is all up to us. By choosing to age positively and gracefully, we expand the opportunities for new and exciting experiences and open the doors of a life we never knew existed.

This, in a way, is a time to be selfish. It’s a time to prioritize our physical and mental wellbeing. To live a more fulfilled life – the life we always wished we could live – whether that’s by implementing self-care in the form of doing things you love or getting professional help with life transition counselling.

It’s a rite of passage and a chance to make better short-term choices that improve our lives in the long-term. It’s all about adopting a more healthy, positive mindset about ageing. It’s about continuing to live your life doing all of the things you’ve always loved doing and implementing new things you’ve always wanted to try.

It’s not easy, especially when society is constantly telling you that your value goes down with every coming year. If you still struggle with overcoming the challenges of ageing, speaking to a professional can vastly transform your experience.

My life transition counselling provides the opportunity to start anew and face this new life with a calm mind. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch and schedule an appointment to see how I work.