Dealing with Losses of Covid-19  – Online Counsellor Vancouver

Although grief is one of the most universally shared emotions. It’s also one of the most uniquely experienced, drawing to the surface different feelings in each of us. Its chaotic impact can leave us feeling lost, confused and overwhelmed with emotion that we don’t know how to process.

Grief is a feeling that unites us regardless of age, race, background or financial means. Even though it makes us feel isolated, misunderstood and alone, it awakens within us the innate need for community. During the physical and social distancing measures of Covid-19, however, the feeling of isolation can feel magnified and any absence of closure can leave us feeling disoriented.

While many cultures around the world get together to celebrate the passing of a family member, others believe it’s respectful to show your mourning. While culturally-significant rituals are important, personal rituals also hold incredible value in helping people come to terms with their loss and be able to move forward in a healthy way.

What is a Ritual?

Rituals are a set of actions that have been given meaning by our own words, thoughts, memories and gestures, usually with objects. The rituals have a much deeper meaning than the actions themselves and when we are grieving, they can be especially helpful in helping us gain closure, clarity, peace of mind and become more grounded.

Examples of Small Rituals You Can Do

• Lighting a candle during a special part of the day, reminiscent of certain dates or memories together
• Writing a letter expressing your feelings and burning it
• Planting a tree, or your loved one’s favourite flowers
• Listening to your loved one’s favourite music or song
• Watching their favourite movie
• Creating a memory box, album or scrapbook full of memorabilia
• Cooking your loved one’s favourite meal and sharing it with your friends and family
• Choosing a certain day of the week to carry out a ritual

Rituals come alive with the meaning you give them. They can be small, sentimental and spontaneous or structured and held on a regular basis. You can clearly mark the beginning of your ritual by lighting some incense, a candle or ringing a chime and mark its end by ringing the chime or blowing out the candle. This creates a clear signal for your mind to shift its consciousness into a sacred space, as well as out of it and back into reality.

So, how do rituals help us, exactly?

They Help Us Regain Control

After losing someone important to us, it’s natural to feel completely helpless and vulnerable. So, what do we do? We try to control our surroundings, our environment, the health and safety of our loved ones, and we try to control our emotions by suppressing them.

Rituals help us restore the feeling of control during a time when we feel we have lost it all. By helping us have a stronger sense of perceived control through meaningful action, we are able to better manage and cope with our grief.

They Help Us Mourn & Gain Closure

During the physically and socially-isolating time of Covid-19, experiencing loss brings along with it a whole new rollercoaster of emotions. We may be unable to pay our respects by gathering with our loved ones and holding a funeral, or perhaps were unable to say goodbye due to quarantine. All of this results in an absence of closure that leaves us feeling robbed of our right to an explanation.

Ritual, regardless of their size, helps us let go of something or someone that was once important; perhaps even the most important. It’s a tangible action that helps us find meaning in our losses and can be repeated until we feel satisfied with the mental puzzle we have pieced together.

They Help Us Heal & Find Hope For the Future

With closure, comes healing. We are finally able to find answers to our questions and alleviate the weight of ambiguity (or simply just accept it). The chaos and suffering that had initially taken over our entire being can now be freed and replaced with peace, balance and stability.

Rituals help us heal our wounds and move forward with hope for our continued living. They help us reconnect with our innermost selves and discover who we were before the loss – a loss that triggered an entire paradigm shift and change in our perception of ourselves and the world.

A Step Forward

Regardless of the type of loss we experienced and whether or not we were able to reach a place of closure, implementing even the smallest rituals in our daily lives can help us stay grounded. They can help us self-soothe and put the control back in our hands.

The ever-changing conditions of Covid-19 are causing us to feel more isolated and uncertain than ever. During a time when we can’t gather with those we hold dearest, we must learn to work through our emotions either by ourselves or with the help of an online counsellor Vancouver.

While many of us are experiencing the non-tangible losses of quarantine, others are dealing with the death of loved ones. Regardless of your situation, having an online counsellor Vancouver guide you through this tough time can make a world of a difference in your mental wellbeing. If you wish to connect with me, I would be more than happy to help you reconnect with yourself and the world around you.